Am I Overreacting to My Husband’s Drinking?

Do you feel like you may be overreacting to your husband’s drinking? You are not alone in this. Many women fear that their husbands may be drinking too much, and raising the point can often result in arguments where you may be accused of overreacting.

Even just discussing the issue can often lead to further strain in relationships, and you may also feel like to can not mention his drinking for fear of causing another dispute and making things worse.

To discover if you are overreacting, we first need to learn what constitutes “overreacting”. Of course, no one wants their loved one to develop alcoholism, so you are within your rights to be concerned if you feel they are drinking too much, as it will impact not only them but you and your family unit.

Some people would consider raising the issue after only mild consumption of alcohol on an infrequent basis as “overreacting”, but if your husband is drinking daily or frequently binge drinking, you may have valid reasons for concern.

 

Is My Husband Drinking Too Much?

According to the NHS, problem drinking is when a man regularly consumes more than 14 units of alcohol per week. This is roughly seven pints or beer for a man. If they do drink this much, it is advised to have alcohol-free days in between consumption to lower long-term risks.

It does not matter what type of drink they consume, it could be larger or it could be spirits such as whiskey or vodka, the advice is to keep consumption below 14 units per week to lessen the chances of fatty buildup on the liver and other alcohol-related illnesses developing.

Every man is different, and any alcohol consumption can have an impact, but these are the general guidelines to follow: if they are drinking more than 14 units per week, they are drinking too much.

If your husband is drinking four standard beers every night, they will be consuming approximately 60 units per week. You can use this calculator to measure how many units of alcohol your husband is drinking per week.

 

What Are the Signs of Problem Drinking to Look Out for?

When people become addicted to alcohol, they may start to notice various signs that you should be aware of. Your husband may not tick all the boxes, but you may notice one or more of the following:

• Sweating
• Tremors
• Anxiety
• Depression
• Trouble Sleeping
• Paranoia
• Changes in Behaviour
• Lack of Effort in Personal Appearance

Of course, if your husband is drunk all the time, this is easy to spot. But if they are drinking regularly and profess they have it under control and you notice some of the above signs, they could be developing an addiction.

They also may have had an addiction for a period of time but managed to this point to hide this fact, and you may have been unaware of how serious the situation is.

 

What is a Functioning Alcoholic?

Some people can live with active addiction for a long time, and it can slip under the radar because they are functioning normally. A functioning alcoholic is a person who maintains the outward appearance of leading an everyday life while having a dependence on alcohol.

So, unlike stereotypical alcoholics who might display clear signs of their addiction, functioning alcoholics can hold down jobs, maintain relationships, and fulfil daily responsibilities. They often hide their drinking habits and manage to avoid the negative consequences typically associated with alcohol abuse, at least in the short term.

When you try to bring up that you feel they drink too much, they will be able to argue that they do not have a problem. They go to work, live their normal, day-to-day lives and say their drinking is under control.

Despite their ability to function in daily life, functioning alcoholics are still battling with addiction. In the context of this article, your husband may drink heavily outside of work hours, during meals, or in social settings, often consuming alcohol to cope with stress, anxiety, or other emotional issues they may be facing.

Their drinking might also escalate over time, leading to increased tolerance and dependence. The need to drink becomes an essential part of their routine, and they may experience withdrawal symptoms when they try to cut down or stop drinking. It is at this point many people try to stage an intervention when it becomes visibly noticeable.

You may be accused of overreacting at this point, especially as alcoholics can have a hard time admitting they do indeed have a problem. But often, you may have been “underreacting” while they have continued with this behaviour and now find themselves in a situation.

 

How to Discuss Your Husband’s Drinking With Them

You will know your husband better than anybody, what triggers them and how difficult conservations have played out in the past. You may have brought the subject up, and he may have listened to you, or they may have denied there is a problem to even talk about.

Our advice is to go into the conversation with facts and try to do so calmly. We say this because your husband may offer some resistance and become very defensive at the suggestion of his drinking problem. We want to keep the conversation factual and not escalate the situation beyond the topic.

If you do manage to get through to your husband, it is a good idea to present ideas for treatment, including options for rehabilitation, therapy or support groups.

If you are considering raising this up with your husband, you can also find support at places like Drinkline at 0300 123 1110. They will be able to discuss treatment options available locally and also guide you on staging the intervention based on your specific circumstances.

Our team is also available to help on 0800 012 6088. Our team can discuss with you inpatient rehab facilities and also provide further advice on how to discuss the issue with your husband in a confidential manner.

 

Find Alcohol Addiction Support for Your Husband Today

If you’re worried about your husband’s drinking and you try to talk about it, he might say you’re overreacting. If he has a problem with alcohol or is starting to, he might resist your concerns. To help, keep track of how much he drinks and how it’s affecting your life. Share this information clearly with him.

When someone with a drinking problem says you’re overreacting, it’s often because they’re trying to avoid the issue. It’s a common reaction when someone doesn’t want to face their problem. By gathering clear facts and finding solutions, you can better help him understand the need for change and improve his health and life. If you would like to speak to a member of our team about suitable treatment options for your husband, contact us for confidential advice and support.